Well I did it…I took the plunge and started up a hosted site through Bluehost.com. My new blog, Building Camelot, is just like this one, but without the training wheels.
The process was relatively painless and I’m glad it did it…Don’t get me wrong, I really like WordPress.com but WordPress.org is much more powerful. I hope to grow this website into something substantial and helpful to many people out there.
Come by and take a look. Hope to see you there.
–TW
Can college football make you a better father? I certainly think so…and you don’t even need to be good enough to play to help you be a better father.
I was watching Florida walk all over Vanderbilt the other day (man I hate Florida) and I got to thinking about how this great sport can make me a better father. And why not? It’s a huge tradition down here in SEC country and let’s face it…you’re going to watch it anyway…might as well kill two birds with one stone.
College football can help you teach your kids about tradition. This all important game might seem silly to some, but it’s important to teach them that Saturday’s in the fall were made for college football. If you take college football serious enough, then you probably honor other family traditions as well – and that says a lot to younger kids.
It will also teach them about family. Yes – family…and not the one’s in your own house. I think it’s very important for the little one’s to understand that you are part of a family when your a true fan of a team. Fan families aren’t too different from regular families – except that they are a tad bigger. They have their ups an downs as well as a few odd ones here and there.
Football will teach your kids about sportsmanship. Depending on what kind of season your team is having, you’ll have good games, and you’ll have not-so-good games. You can take this time to stress that you win some and you loose some. But the best teams get up and try again next week…or even next year. Hopefully your children can all experience the joy of victory, but I hope they also grow stronger in defeat. We don’t truly understand or appreciate victory unless we’ve dusted ourselves off after a loss.
And unless your kid is going to play golf (a non-team sport), college football can teach them about teamwork. And anyone reading this that has gone through college or works in an office environment can understand the importance of teamwork. Usually when everyone works together, great things can happen. One person can’t not take on and defeat a team of skilled football players.
Finally, college football can teach children about balance. And I don’t mean the kind of balance gymnasts have, I’m talking about the balance between school work and athletics. I know – I know, there’s always some sort of give and take between college academics and sports programs, but for the most part students have to at least be descent in the classroom to participate in sports.
Just a few more reasons to watch your favorite team.
–TW
I heard on the news last night that the game “Tag” (and other games) was being banned from playgrounds across America.
Seriously!?!? Kids can’t play tag on playgrounds anymore? What are these people thinking? Do they think that banning tag, touch football and soccer will really protect kids?
Preventing a few minor scrapes and scratches is not protecting kids…it will only make them fatter and less social. Playing and running around during recess is essential for proper physical and emotional development…it’s not a threat to national security. And don’t get me started about the “…it’s bad for the losers’ pysches” crap.
You want to really protect your children?
Build up their confidence…Let them know that that can do whatever they put their mind to…no matter what.
Be the Dad…stick around for your kids. Be there always – not just when they need something.
Get ‘em off the couch…Encourage MORE play outside.
Then maybe we won’t have this problem of whiny parents trying to “protect” our children in all the wrong ways. Why is this the first generation of parents to worry about a few games out on the playground?
I don’t want my daughter growing up in a world where she has to run on a treadmill in a gym for recess (under supervision) because some people think it’s safer than real play.
Other news links:
I’m relatively new to the whole marriage thing. I’ve only been married for 6 years…that pales in comparison to people who have been married for >20 years. I just wanted to share some ways that I try to show her my love…and some ways that I’m not very good at, but I feel are important. Some of these are more serious than others, but I think you’ll be able to figure it out.
1.) Send her flowers: And not the cheap, cheesy looking flowers either. This might seem like an obvious thing to do, but it is such a great way to show her your love.Take some time and find her some nice flowers. Don’t order the “50 flowers for $25″ special. They will more than likely show up then die the next day.
2.) Become less selfish: I know – This one is pretty vague, but I think it’s a very important point to consider. This is one of my biggest challenges and one of the many reasons for this blog. This includes things like; paying attention to her, spending time with her and really getting to know her. This might sound silly, but as you grow & change (see #9) you might loose sight of her goals and interests.
3.) Take care of the cars: Don’t make her go to the greasy, scum bag, 10-minute oil change places on her own. Be a man and take the car in for her. You’ll probably end up saving money too. The guys that work there are less likely to get a man to buy a new air filter and windshield wiper blades.
4.) Provide Stability: This includes emotional and financial stability. Your little Camelot won’t be able to take root and flourish if it doesn’t have solid ground to grow. You might find that you will benefit from offering stability as well.
5.) Take care of the creepy crawlies: This includes anything from harmless crickets to mice in the garage or attic. I haven’t met a women who enjoys confronting anything with more than 2 legs. Get a bug guy to treat your house, and be prepared to kill whatever makes it past the professional bug juice.
6.) Enjoy her happiness: Her happiness should be your happiness. This goes back to her confidence and you not being selfish. Nothing bad can come out of making your wife happy…and her happiness will only rub off on you.
7.) Drink coffee for energy: This one is especially important if you guys have kids. Don’t be the guy that comes home and doesn’t do squat. You’ll need the energy to keep up with kids and help do things around the house.
8.) Embrace her femininity: Okay – this one sounds cheesy, but don’t complain about her hair or nail appointments and expect her feel confident and look like a woman. This also goes for clothes and makeup shopping. The more confident she feels, the stronger connection you will have.
9.) Understand that things will change: Don’t think that you will be doing the same thing after you’ve been married 5, 7, or 10 years. And embrace this as a good thing. Encourage change and growth in your relationship.
10.) Provide Protection: And I don’t mean with a shotgun under the bed…although that may not be a bad idea to some. Like emotional and financial stability, you can offer protection in many ways…from taking care of the cars to being there for her and simply taking care of her.
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Share your thoughts. Let me know what you feel is important and areas you could work on.
–TW
I’ve come to the sad realization that I’m an uptight and anxious parent. Don’t really know why – I just am. Since I’ve been reading Stu’s books, and trying to be more of a leader and calm head-of-state, so to speak, I’ve started to notice how I react to certain situations. And most of the time, I become anxious and I’m sure it affects Olivia somehow.
It affects her because I could react to situations better and she would probably have more fun and be a less tense herself.
For example: Mandy and I took her to Zoo Boo at the Memphis Zoo Saturday night. It was PACKED! There were people running around everywhere and it was dark by the time we got there. Not the place to just let a 2-year old have free reign.It was fun for Olivia but she could have had more fun if Mandy and I weren’t so uptight and anxious. We didn’t even want to let her out of her stroller.
Even when we got to the Dracula Disco, we were hesitant to let her out so she could dance. We eventually did because EVERY other kid was running around and Livi started to get frustrated. After she got out, she had a ball. She danced, jumped, ran around and wore herself out. And no one in a creepy mask snatched her up and ran off into a dark part of the zoo. Seriously – we had that thought in our head the whole time.
I wouldn’t call it a disorder, but maybe it’s time for some Zoloft or some Paxil. I really need to learn to relax around her and be a better parent. I don’t want her to grow up as anxious as I am. And I don’t want to live the rest of my life so uptight.
Anyone else feel this way? Surely I’m not the only parent that feels this way.
I just wrote about the manly tool of the season and I was all excited to go get one, and carve up the most bad-ass pumpkin in town.
Boy – Was I surprised when I wasted time yesterday from Lowe’s to Home Depot with no luck.
The guy at Lowes said “We haven’t carried those in two years”…Really? I swear I saw them there just last weekend.
So then I go to Home Depot. After searching for someone who actually worked there (If you shop there – you know what I mean) I found a guy who could help. He pointed to a small cart in the middle of the main aisle and said “If it ain’t on there we’ve sold out”.
Now – In the past, I worked in retail for 6 years. I know how inventory turns over – so I said “I guess before Halloween is too early to buy a pumpkin carving tool”. Then he said “Well – this is a retail store…you know how it works…we already have Christmas stuff out”. It’s not even November yet! Give me a break.
Man – I was so bummed out – borderline ticked off. Now we’ll have to settle for some lame pumpkin that looks like all the other pumpkins in town – except the one’s carved by someone smarter than me who bought the Dremel tool when it was September. Maybe I’ll get my act together next year.
After Mandy and I talked, we decided that it would probably be a good idea to NOT have sharp carving tools around Olivia. Probably was a good idea…So we decided to stop at Target and pick up some pumpkin paint so Olivia could just paint whatever she wanted and not risk loosing a finger.
Come to find out – Target is a retail store as well. And similar to Lowe’s and Home Depot they don’t keep Halloween stuff around past the weekend before.
Total time wasted: about 2 hours.
Winner of the Boring Pumpkin Contest 2007? The Wainright Family.
–TW
Photo courtesy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/andyhay/284994170/
Not only is my dad good with tools but he can cook too! I’ll always remember him standing around the grill cooking something. He could also whip up a mean breakfast in the kitchen.
I think that all men, especially fathers should be able to cook something — at least one dish or meal that brings warmth to the table that also provides lasting memories.
This top 10 list is in no particular order…just inspirations from the old man and life in general. I think these are pretty manly meals and every dad should be able to cook at least one. Here we go:
1.) RIBS: This is a no-brainer living in the south, especially in Memphis. These are NOT easy to cook, but if you can master them…or at least make the edible, you’ll have people asking from the all the time.
2.) HAMBURGERS: And I’m not talking about the frozen patties. Nothing says summer like a nice fresh burger hot off the grill. Dad never uses frozen and you can taste a difference…trust me. I’m guilty of using the frozen patties (Much easier with a toddler running around), but I really want to make the switch to fresh meat full time.
3.) MACARONI & CHEESE: Again…Fresh mac & cheese — not the stuff out of the box. More than just a classic comfort food, you can easily make this into a meal for the whole family with the right recipe. My dad makes some great homemade mac & cheese and he inspired me to come up with a recipe that I think is pretty good.
4.) CHILI: Maybe this has been on my mind since it’s been a little cool here in Memphis…and chili is the prefect cold weather comfort food. Chili also calls to the man in each of us…you can almost feel the cowboy coming out in you when you sit down with a warm bowl of chili.
5.) GUMBO: What can I say about gumbo…a very humble meal that comes from the coon asses of Louisiana. Not an easy dish to make, but it can be so good if done right. Pair this with a cold beer and some corn muffins and you’ll have one heck of a dinner.
6.) RED BEANS & RICE: Ahhh…another great comfort food and another simple humble dish. Like gumbo, pair this with a cold beer and corn muffins and you’ll be full in no time.
7.) FRIED CATFISH: Maybe this is just another southern thing, but you haven’t eaten unless you’ve had some fried catfish. I’m not a big fried food eater (everything in moderation – right?) but this dish is too good to pass up. Great with hush puppies!
8.) STEAK: Not much to say here — steak pretty much speaks for itself. This is something that every man should know how to cook, whether it’s on the grill or in the oven.
9.) WINGS: Another fried food that I don’t eat too often, but they definitely have their place on the dinner table. I don’t know how to make these — not sure I even want to try. Around here it’s almost an art form…it all comes down to the sauce and how they are cooked. Maybe I’ll try making them one day.
And last but not least…..
10.) FRIED TURKEY: OK – I’m starting to see a trend here…3 fried meals…but hey – the old man only fries a turkey once a year…maybe twice if we’re lucky. And I know that I said that you haven’t eaten unless you’ve had fried catfish — well, I mean it now. This is one incredible meal and will make your mouth water just thinking about it. He usually cooks them when it’s cold outside and I love watching the steam from the boiling oil. How far away is Thanksgiving?
Let’s get cooking!
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–TW
Photo Courtesy:
The wife and I got into a little tiff (or what I call a stupid argument) the other night. I cracked a joke and the response I got was not what I expected. So I took it personally and then that made us both upset. She was joking back to me and did not mean for me to take her response the way I did.
We went to bed without talking and hardly said anything to each other the next morning. It was bad. I took it personally and didn’t take the initiative to say that I was sorry for getting so upset (and making her upset). But she apologized! She came to me first and gave me a big hug. She took the initiative. Man – I felt weak and very humble in front of her. She was the bigger person and she helped patch a little piece of our marriage.
One thing that Stu Weber harps on in Tender Warrior is that manhood takes initiative. Manhood takes charge in giving forgiveness, in love and in saying that you’re sorry. I read this the evening after my wife came to me and apologized and it really hit home. It’s a great book – and I say that only being about 100 pages into it. I’ll write more about the book later.
And there’s not a lot out there on learning to take initiative…not even on Google. It’s pretty tough to just start taking initiative (it’s also pretty hard to type) but to me, initiative equals confidence. If you don’t have the confidence about a situation, then you can’t comfortably take initiative. And confidence comes from faith and trust.
This all goes back to building my foundation. It’s going to take some time and a lot of learning along the way.
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–TW
You know what you don’t see on the magazine aisle at the grocery store?
You don’t see any magazines about how to be a better father or husband…You don’t see any tag lines that promise tips on how to be a better man, a better father or a better husband. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was such a magazine?
Magazines seem to batter men from all sides about how to be more inwardly focused (read: more selfish). I’m tired of reading about the latest golf, fashion and career tips. Give me something that has some meaning…something that will stand the test of time. The fashion and the golf game will all come later…they will fall into place behind faith and family.
If men, and me especially, would invest the same amount of time into our faith and family as we did our golf games, or other personal goals, we would be more satisfied with life and actually have something to come home to.
And I’m trying (just another reason for this blog). I realized that I was getting frustrated with my family roles and relationships (read: with my wife) when I couldn’t play golf. Now I see that golf is nowhere near as important as my relationship with her and I building our relationship will pay dividends far greater than any golf game.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying to give up your goals since they are an integral part of anyone’s life. I’ll still read Men’s Journal and Wired (both very good magazines) but I’m trying to take them at face value and focus on what really matters.
What type of headlines would you like to see on a magazine?
I’d like to see something along the lines of “How to be a better visionary for your family”…”Top dads revel their secrets to success”…”Strong kids share what they love about their father”.
One thing that always stand out about my father is his use and knowledge of tools. He wasn’t a master carpenter or electrician, but he always seemed to know how to do things around the house and underneath our cars. Now that I’m a father and a homeowner, I naturally want to have the right tools for the job.
I was perusing the local Home Depot the other day and saw my next purchase….the Dremel Cordless Pumpkin Carving Tool. It might seem like over kill to my wife especially since I’ll only use it once a year, but you better believe that I’ll have the coolest looking pumpkin in town. And it’s orange! Perfect.
Gone are the days of using semi-sharp knives that are too big to create the detail that you really want. You can even download templates straight from the Dremel website here. I can’t do anything too scary since my daughter is only 2, but I think I can get away with Scary Pumpkin or Ghost and Bats. This will be a great Halloween! Thanks Dremel for giving me an excuse to buy a tool just to carve a pumpkin!
(Photos and .pdf’s are Courtesy of Dremel.com)
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